John Chard

Goliath Machine Malarkey! Virus is directed by John Bruno and written by Chuck Pfarrer and Dennis Feldman. It stars Jamie Lee Curtis, William Baldwin, Donald Sutherland, Joanna Pacula, Marshall Bell, Sherman Augustus, Cliff Curtis and Julio Oscar Mechoso. Music is by Joel McNeely and cinematography by David Eggby. The crew of an American tugboat boards an abandoned Russian research vessel and quickly sets about claiming salvage rights. However, there is something on board, just not human, and it potentially spells doom for all. Virus is a derivative big-budget genre film that is not only a hack job, but almost certainly the lowest point of Donald Sutherland's otherwise superb career. The premise here has been mined many a time before, including the previous year to "Virus" with "Deep Rising". However, unlike "Deep Rising's" glorious sense of fun amongst the creature feature carnage, "Virus" is unintentionally funny since it's all played very straight. The humans are up against alien robot thingies, one of which looks suspiciously like a robotic "Brundlefly" mixed with "Short Circuit's Number 5". There's a modicum of interest in the virus narrative thread, with the need for human body parts a tantalising proposition, but it looks and comes off as feeble steals from better genre pictures. The high energy finale, with whizz bangs and fire crackers, is at least played with good action intent, but by then it's too late to save a rip-off stinker that wastes a very good cast list. 3/10